Explaining Cancer treatment to the boys

Noah picked up the post yesterday and brought it to me saying 'Is it for me?' I replied 'Sort of, it's about the visit we made to the hospital the other day'. He immediately looked worried and snatched it off me claiming it should go in the bin. This made me feel so sad for him because it shows how uncomfortable it makes him. He doesn't want to go back to hospital, he doesn't want horrible drops put in, he doesn't want to be put to sleep and wake up feeling groggy after being poked and prodded. I can't bare to think that it terrifies him to go back there when his journey has barely begun. He will never truely understand that we're doing these horrible things for his own good and that breaks my heart.
One of our biggest difficulties this week is talking to the kids about Noah's Cancer and explaining Chemotherapy to them. We've barely come to terms with it ourselves, the thought of weighing them down with fears and anxieties is horrible. We don't want to scare them but have to prepare them a little for what's to come. We can't let them feel betrayed or lied to when it all kicks off. Thankfully the team at The Royal London and the support worker at CHECT have been amazing in supporting us and have given us tips on when and how to tell the children. They've given us some storybooks that are written especially for children that explain what happens during the hospital appointments.

We read them together with the kids and they were keen to listen. I do think the stories comforted Noah a little although he got upset when we said he had to go back to the hospital for his 'special medicine'. He knows his eye is poorly and it needs to be fixed with 'special medicine'. The hospital said it was best to be honest but not to tell them too far ahead of treatment because their anxiety can build up. We'll have to have this chat again the day before his chemotherapy which we are dreading. We don't want to overload Noah with information and worry him so we're just going to tell him about treatment as it comes.

GOSH phoned me today and said his Chemotherapy would start on Tuesday but we need to wait until Monday to find out what time and which ward. I thought I would feel relieved and pleased when we got this phone call but it's just made me want to burst into tears. I hate not knowing what to expect for him. Not only is it a completely new world to us but it's different for each child. We've just got to remember that it will be a very hard but short time in Noah's long lifetime. I hope he can look back at this blog when hes older and see what an amazing little trooper he was.

Comments

  1. You are so strong Laila, Ollie, Jake and Noah. Such a lovely little family and you will get through this. We care about you guys so much and if there is anything we can do, (or the girls at the salon because they are closer), please let us know xx

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